Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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