I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
