I heard we made out
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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