We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
