If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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