Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
