Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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