my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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