I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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