I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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