Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
