if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
