i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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