I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
