May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
