Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
