dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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