New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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