Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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