Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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