we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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