I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
