Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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