she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
