I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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