Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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