to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
