Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
