He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize