At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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