I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
