he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
