I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
