let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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