So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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