but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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