About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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