We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
