Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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