The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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