If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize