She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
