just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i think i just lost a toe
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