glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
