Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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