It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize