Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
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She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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