8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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