I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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