the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
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