i think my mom watched the whole time
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
