It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
