Say something about gay babies.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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