Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
