She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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