I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
