based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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