So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He better not be in your backpack
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
