it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
