He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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