He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
