He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
