Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
