Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
